The
Axe, pt.3 – EPILOGUE: Wars of the Dwarvish Lords
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Rumours
abound of the Fierce
Axe -
the Axe
of the Dwarvish Lords
-
which has the power to unite the Dwarven folk against their foes. But
it has not done so yet...
--------------------
THE
CONTEST: 'THE UNITED PROVINCES' v. 'ECONOMIC ULEK UNION'
The
“United Provinces of Ulek” (previously the Principality
of Ulek) has long-standing ties with the disparate states of East
Ulek, once it's colonies. All belong to the Economic
Ulek Union,
ostensibly an alliance for peace and trade, administered by a
Commission of nine Lords – but who now claim rulership over all
member states.
Many dwarven folk of the United Provinces want
their Principality to regain independence, and a huge angry crowd
gathers around the Halls of Government in the capital city, Gryrax.
There the Primary Minister, Lord Kamrin of Spiv, appears hard at work
- directing disposition of Ulek assets by a busy team of muscly
under-ministers in overalls: “...Yeah, dat's good stuff, gerrit
on the cart... yeah, dat too... nah, dat's rubbish innit, bin dat...
bust da teef outta dat bust, dey's real gold... get back in dere, wiv
crowbars - dere's good wood on dem walls – gerrit orf! Oy! Wot
you lot doin' ere?” he exclaims, finally noticing the
surrounding mob.
Sir Negil “the Rage”, an
adventurer particularly outraged at the corruption of his homeland,
steps forward and speaks for the People's Army'. Citing ancient laws,
Negil challenges the Primary Minister to single combat – but
the craven Kamrin orders Secondary Minister Cluggin to fight as
'Champion' in his stead...
An even bigger crowd gathers, and
watches as the two duly meet to duel. Cluggin is overconfident and,
it soon shows, out-classed. Experienced adventurer Negil deftly
parries the young minister's wild hate-filled blows, and inflicts
deep wounds in return. There is a pause in the battle – the
crowd expect Cluggin to concede: honour is satisfied, all see Negil
has won – except for Cluggin himself. Crazily, he charges at
Negil again, axe swinging – with a tactic tried, and that
failed, before! Negil dodges again with ease, turns swiftly, and
clinically slices his idiot opponent across the guts... which slop
out messily onto the dirty ground. Cluggin falls, gurgles
disgustingly, twists in agony – and eventually dies.
ZOMBIE
GOVERNMENT
Most of the people think Negil should lead their
nation. But Baron Kamrin disobeys the ancient laws, preferring rules
made up by his cronies. “I'm da Boss fer 5 years – and
dere's nuffink you can do about it!” he shouts, now hiding
amongst massed ranks of his hired Euroz goons. The crowd are
confused, shocked their traditions can be so simply ignored,
murmuring: “His champion lost!”, “His policy is
proved wrong.”, “Why is he still here?” and “He
was only P.M. With Cluggin's support, but now he's dead...”.
Then, also surrounded by goons, the crudely-stitched body of
Cluggin shambles into view. “Uuuuuhhhhh....”, it moans.
“See!” crows Kamrin, “I'm still da boss! So
you lot can get lost! I'm busy - shackling... er, Securing
Ulek's
Future – yeah... <snigger>”.
Then he turns away, to a squat, cloaked grinning toad-like visitor.
“Sorry, Hozay, dere's no cash left – you got it all!”,
the Lord of Spiv laughs. The creature hands him a scroll, which
Kamrin reads: “Wossis? 'Each
citizen of the former Principality of Ulek promises to pay one
thousand gold pieces.'
-
yeah, sure!”. Immediately he signs and returns it. The creature
hurries away harbour-ward, to embark upon a fast east-bound ship
heavy-laden with valuables stripped from across the old Principality.
“Trade wiv our East Ulek partners is vital
for
the
'Recovery'...”
chants Kamrin automatically. “Uuuuuhhhhh....” moans the
zombie.
“Yes,
but WE'd do much better!” responds Guildsman Moribund, a rival
councillor identical to Kamrin. “We'll make Ulek into One
Nation where
everyone (who obeys) gets Minimum
Pay...”
and
he drones on. “Uuuuuhhhhh....” moans the zombie.
Then
some now in the crowd whisper: “Zese politicians are zo
boring...”, “Zey are all ze zame...”, “Zere
is nothing ve can do...” and "Letz go votch de Footie...”,
their cold eyes glittering. Some people shout against Kamrin, some
against Moribund. Old, familiar reassuring
rivalries
return. The crowd finally disperses - the largest division following
Sir Negil and his company of heroes, swiftly marching to Lexdrum
Manor near Fort Stonewall, gathering more supporters all the way,
where they regroup and prepare for the conflict ahead....
TO
WAR!
Meanwhile,
Adventures Continue - in “Return to the
Glitterhame”...